March: Making Blocking Your BFF

I used to (and still do) struggle with blocking people. It felt harsh, like I was ghosting them; something that has been done to me countless times and hurt deeply. But over time, I realized something important... blocking is not ghosting when it's done for self-protection. It's a boundary, not an abandonment.

Growing up, I learned to fear making people angry. When my parents were upset, they would punish me, take away their love, or resort to physical discipline. That fear of upsetting others followed me into adulthood. I found myself keeping toxic people in my life simply because I didn't want to "make them mad." I twisted myself to accommodate them, afraid that asserting my boundaries would bring punishment, rejection, or conflict.

Recently, I made the decision to block several people in my life. One in particular I answered his calls, bent over backward to please him, and tolerated his moody, condescending attitude for years. I was at his beck and call, seeking his approval, even though he had nothing positive to contribute to my life. I saw how drained I felt after every interaction, how little respect he had for me, and how much space he was occupying in my mind. So, I blocked him. And I felt relief. But then came the guilt. "What if/when he gets mad? What if I'm being too harsh?" And then I reminded myself that I don’t have to be available for mistreatment. Blocking isn't about them. It's about taking your power back.

Many people equate blocking with ghosting, but they are not the same. Ghosting is when you disappear from someone’s life without explanation, often in a situation where communication is still appropriate (like dating someone and never telling them you’re no longer interested). Blocking for self-protection is an intentional boundary when someone’s presence in your life is harming your mental, emotional, or even physical well-being. Blocking is not about being cruel but about choosing yourself. If someone consistently disrespects, drains, manipulates, or mistreats you, you have every right to remove access to your energy.

When is blocking the right move? 1. When someone disrespects your boundaries over and over again. 2. When a person is emotionally, verbally, or physically abusive. 3. When interactions leave you feeling drained, anxious, or unworthy. 4. When someone refuses to accept your no. 5. When staying connected only leads to more hurt and cycles of toxicity. Blocking doesn’t mean you wish them harm. It doesn’t mean you didn’t care. It simply means you’re choosing peace over chaos, self-respect over fear, and healing over old patterns.

Blocking isn’t always easy. If you, like me, have a history of people-pleasing or fearing conflict, it can bring up discomfort. But every time you choose to honor yourself over your fear of making someone else angry, you unlearn this behavior. If you struggle with blocking, remind yourself: their anger is not my responsibility. I am not obligated to keep doors open for people who hurt me. Boundaries are an act of self-love, not mean. I don’t owe anyone my sanity.

Sometimes, the most loving thing you can do for yourself is to make "block" your best friend. You’re not ghosting, you’re putting yourself first. You’re not abandoning, you’re choosing peace. And the people meant for you, AKA, the ones who respect, uplift, and value you, will never put you in a position where you feel like you need to block them in the first place ;-)