January: Letting Go to Make Space for What’s Meant to Be

The beginning of a new year often brings reflections, resolutions, and a renewed sense of purpose. For me, January feels like a time to embrace the idea of welcoming and allowing in the new. But this isn’t just about setting goals or making vision boards; it’s about releasing the attachments and habits that no longer serve me so I can make space for something greater.

I haven’t spoken to or entertained any romantic prospects since July. This wasn’t a decision I took lightly, nor was it without its challenges. When I came home from Italy, I was devastated and heartbroken. I’d fallen deeply for someone who didn’t wish to commit to me in a meaningful way. I had envisioned something beautiful with him, but his inability to show up left me longing for a love that was never going to materialize.

Adding to this, I never planned to stay in New York for this long. My heart wasn’t set on building a future here, so I saw no reason to start something romantic when my plans felt temporary. Beyond that, I’ve been taking my romantic life seriously. I’m only dating for the long-term, AKA, to build a partnership. If I don’t see that potential with someone, I won’t entertain it. And lastly, I haven’t been feeling my best. Shame around how I look has made it hard to put myself out there. It’s been a season of introspection and healing, and I’ve come to honor that as part of my journey.

But life, as it often does, threw in some unexpected twists. During Mercury in Retrograde, the very man who broke my heart this summer called me out of the blue at 2:30 a.m. I answered, only to be met with silence. No explanation, no apology, just the sound of nothing. It triggered something deep within me; anger, frustration, and ultimately, clarity. I hadn’t heard from him in nearly six months, and his lack of words spoke volumes about the kind of person he is. Immature. Incapable of communication. Unworthy of the pedestal I’d placed him on.

In the moment, it felt like an activation of old wounds - a reminder of how disrespected I’d felt in the past. But upon reflection, I realized it was also a gift. I reread some old journal entries from my time in Bari, only weeks before this unexpected phone call. The rose-colored glasses had been firmly on back then, but reading my own words now, the truth was glaringly obvious... we weren’t a good match. It wasn’t aligned. And while I can appreciate the experience for what it was, I finally felt the release of any lingering attachment to him. The phone call, oddly enough, validated what I already knew deep down: I’m over him. He has nothing to offer me.

Interestingly, this wasn’t the only instance of the past knocking on my door. A month prior, an old flame resurfaced, calling me repeatedly from various phone numbers after I’d blocked him on three different accounts. He was apologetic and eager to return to my life, but I held firm in my boundaries. I wouldn’t have it. There was a time I would have killed to have him call me. There was a time I never could have imagined rejecting him. And yet, here I was, standing firm in my self-worth and my refusal to settle.

Looking back, these moments feel like immense growth and progress. There was a time when holding onto these dead-end loves felt like the best I could do. They were my safety nets, my illusions of what love should be. But they were blocking me from what I truly want: a life partner who is aligned with my values, my dreams, and my heart.

I’ve learned that when we cling to what doesn’t serve us, whether out of fear, attachment, pain, or self-doubt, we close ourselves off to the possibilities that are waiting for us. For the longest time, I thought these people were the best I could do because they were the best I’d experienced so far. But recently, I’ve started envisioning more for myself. I’ve begun trusting that something/someone better is out there for me, even if I haven’t found it/them yet.

To welcome the new, we have to surrender the old. We have to let go of the stories, the people, and the patterns that keep us stuck. For me, that’s meant releasing the past loves I thought I needed and opening myself to the love I truly deserve. It’s not easy, and it’s certainly not without pain. But it’s necessary.

As we step into this new year, I invite you to consider: What are you holding onto that’s keeping you from receiving what you truly desire? What would it look like to let it go? Allow yourself to release the old, trusting that the new is on its way. You’re not meant to settle, you’re meant to soar.

XO,

Lorena